community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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