Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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