i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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