Can i not drive my cunt home
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
