Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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