The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
