before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
