Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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