Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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