oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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