He asked to "fluff my boner.."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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