my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
