i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
