So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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