You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
