fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
