you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
