he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
