I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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