it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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