Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
