hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm at about main and main street
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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