There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The air was thick with penises
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
