butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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