:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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