His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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