So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
