you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
where are my eyebrows?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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