That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
