just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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