It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
