She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
