we're blogging at a bar
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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