I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
