So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize