so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
