White coat. Heels.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
