He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
