I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
