Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
