I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
