she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
