Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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