ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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