i think my mom watched the whole time
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
