Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
