These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
