is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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