kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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