I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you had me at cake vodka
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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