i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize