you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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