I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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