Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Someone came in the potted fern
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
