i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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