By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Randomize
