I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
