What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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