she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
