We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
