It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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