You were right. It hurts to walk today.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
