This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Dual....:-)
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Boobs speak an international language.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize